Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
