he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You pole danced in your parka.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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