hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize