the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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