Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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