the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
