Christians are straight up FREAKS
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
