Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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