I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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