oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My ATM looks so different sober.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
