I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
