Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
smell my finger.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
