No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
