man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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