and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
