On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
