..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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