Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
