Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
