dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
