Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just pynch a tree in the face
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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