I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize