she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So squirting runs in the family.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
