im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
