Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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