Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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