i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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