I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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