This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
