you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
