is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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