butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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