sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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