don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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