College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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