I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
