And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
