My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Your cock deserves a montage
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
