All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
