the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
