Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
