Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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