the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize