i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
