I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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