Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
