The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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