So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
