So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
