i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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