I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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