Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
