I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the day after is always just damage control
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
