It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
