If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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