Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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