i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
