You smell like a Billy Joel song
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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