Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
