Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
