I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
