Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
