I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
