talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize