Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
