just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i came on her dog
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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